Monday, November 13, 2006

An Old Man At Starbucks

I'm sitting in Starbucks working on a paper right now. Two tables away is an older man, sitting by himself drinking a tall coffee with the lid off. His blonde hair is parted on his left side, combed over to the right, and messy in the back where he couldn't see in the bathroom mirror. His bangs curve down to the leg of his glasses that sit atop a nose that has grown too big for his face. A big green winter coat drapes over his hunched over back worn into a curve from years of bad posture. He's wearing a green button down shirt with white pin stripes too big for his waist and tucked into forest green khaki's with cuffs at the bottom that sit just above brown velco loafers. He sits quietly watching college girls get their drink, walk by him, and leave.

I don't take him for a weird, old guy so much as lonely. I doubt a wife would let him dress in three different shades of green. While he does his best not to look awkward, something's missing... and he knows. I imagine that he always feels it. He wakes up every morning, showers, shaves, brushes his teeth, and combs the hair he could see. He reads the paper over grapenuts with slices of banana cut into it. He's quiet. All the while, that hole is there, and he's stressed to do something about it. The relief is this little excursion, this cup of coffee. It's his excuse, his reason, to simply be among people. I see him with hope as he puts on his brown velco loafers and his green coat. He ambles down the street to the Starbucks wondering what might happen today. He buys his tall coffee, and he waits. Nothing happens. He leaves.

I feel bad for him... Not for the bad outfit or his excursion, but for the waiting. I'm really no better. Everyone in here is compelled to give himself or herself even the possibility of something happening. I single this man out because, in what seems like sixty years, nothing happened for him. It never really happens for guys. We have to stand up, go out, and do it ourselves. We have to start the interaction, initiate the chemistry, and attract a girlfriend. This man never learned how. I wonder where he went, what he went back to. Is he happy?

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